That One Guy 640

Posted In:   From Issue 640   By: That One Guy

28th June, 2007     0

Dear Guy,

Male Enhancement drugs: Do they work?

-Betting in Birch Run

Dear Betting,
Let's address this directly. The basic question is:
What is out there that claims to fortify the foundation?

Google "Male Enhancement".  There are nearly two million sites attaching themselves to this concern. They offer up pills, pumps, patches, creams, surgery, and of course, various extracts and exercises. Hell, I've even seen a web site that promoted "getting in touch with your Chi" (Trust me, if this works, I have many questions for monks who are supposedly abstainate, who may be touching their Chi more than they should be).

Basically speaking, if a man is seeking out these potions and portents, he is likely suffering from one or a number of difficulties: firing the gun too soon, not firing the gun at all, or having a gun that doesn't "stand up" to scrutiny. All of these symptoms fall somewhere under the category of Erectile Dysfunction.

Until a few years of ad campaigns with clever themes made it mainstream, this very real condition was a taboo topic. It left everyone suffering from it in the dark, and, worse yet, afraid to ask for help.

You know how much I hate that.

So the good news is that, finally, FINALLY, it's okay to talk about it. That's great! But as is usually the case, some unscrupulous marketers, including those promising to make you bigger, have attached themselves to the media blitz, and have included size in the mix.

Do any of these improvement products actually work? The answer is (and I know this is going to shock you): Almost never.

Look, there are a few common cases wherein male enhancement drugs may provide assistance. In these cases, we're talking about prescription meds that are used only when the patient is under regular care and supervision of a concerned physician. By that, I mean a doctor who is NOT holding hands and doing some heavy petting with your regional pharmaceutical salesman.

These prescription meds are helpful to men who, for example, suffer side effects from certain diseases, medications, or medical procedures. Men begin to see a decline in performance as they age, and these drugs can help with that, too.

It's all about blood flow. How much blood gets to the right parts at the body at the right time makes all the difference. For these folks, many drugs work just fine. But the side effects can be many. Ever really listen to the disclaimers at the end of the commercials for these drugs? Sometimes they are longer than the ad itself!

This leads me to herbal cures. Some herbal extracts, such as Ginko Biloba, which helps relax the body, and nitric oxide enhancers, such as Yohimbine and Ginseng, can aid in getting the blood pumping the right way, may work, but it's never a safe bet.

Though the FDA tested and approved Yohimbine years ago for efficacy, and actually approved its use for ED drugs, it did so a long time ago when standards were less stringent. And most herb shops aren't buzzing with men searching for homeopathic remedies for one very clear reason: the disclaimer. If the long tested, clinically tried, and heavily insured drug companied remedies carry such long disclaimers, what sort of risks are there in taking a supplement that has likely been produced in someone's basement deep in the heart of Chinatown?

As for making the size of things more bountiful, I can only say that you have little to gain. In fact, you could seriously hurt yourself in the effort. The pump, for example, that claims to make you bigger, does so only because, well, go figure, it gets blood flowing to your little buddy in a very abrupt manner, and risks damaging tissue along the way. It won't make you any bigger than you would be with a normal erection, and in the end, it will leave you bruised and unable to ride your Harley for a while. What's the fun in that?

Surgery for size is not an equitable trade, either. Consider what you're cutting open, the potential side effects, and the potential failure of the procedure, and it's hardly worth the risk.

My advice is if you need help getting things going, begin by finding a physician you trust. As I do, if you see pharmaceutical salesmen coming and going all the time, RUN. If you find your doctor never actually writes you a prescription, rather, just checks off boxes on pre-printed prescription forms, RUN. If not, talk to him/her honestly about your concerns. Be truthful about your medical history and bad habits, and if that doctor is not concerned with your concerns, RUN. If he is concerned, he will have the best medicine for you, literally.

As a final word, if your concern is about the size of things, I say relax. Comparing yourself to the guys you've seen in the locker room, or to porn stars, who are true freaks of nature, is not a true test of your manhood.

The locker room guys may have one up on you in their relaxed state, but they may not gain so much as an inch when their little buddies stand at attention. As for the porn kingsŠwell, come on! How real is that??

If your size has you worried that you may not please your mate, do yourself a favor and up your skill set between the sheets. There is, after all, something you can do about that.


Dear Guy

I have been using a cream that desensitizes me during sex so that I can go a little longer to benefit my partner. The cream works fine. Problem is, she seems to be enjoying me less. What's the deal?

-Mr. Insensitive

Dear Mister:

Creams rub off. Think about where you're putting it. If it works on the skin, it's really capable of penetrating mucus membranes. What good is it if you're both desensitized? Try wearing a condom, (which you should be doing anyway) and take care not to transfer the cream to her in any way. If you've begun to slack on foreplay, take a little extra time. And make sure that any creams, lotions, or lubricants you use are latex friendly.



Have a question for 'That One Guy'? Send all correspondence to That One Guy, c/o Review Magazine, 318 S. Hamilton St., Saginaw, MI 48602 or email


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