\"I\'m the Decider\"

Posted In:   From Issue 624   By: Roddy McCorley

19th October, 2006     0

Dr. Seuss, anyone?
"I hear the voices and I read the front page and I know the speculation," President Bush told reporters in the Rose Garden. "But I'm the decider and decide what's best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the Secretary of Defense."

Well, it took me awhile, but I finally realized what "I'm the decider," reminds me of. It sounds like something a character in a Dr. Seuss book might say. So with apologies to the late Mr. Geisel, here is some idle speculation as to what else such a character might say:

I'm the decider. I pick and I choose.
I pick among what's. And choose among who's.
And as I decide   Each particular day,
The things I decide on   All turn out that way.

I decided on Freedom  For all of Iraq.
And now that we have it, I'm not looking back.

I decided on tax cuts  That just help the wealthy.
And Medicare changes  
That aren't really healthy.

And parklands and wetlands
Who needs all that stuff?
I decided that none Would be more than enough!

I decided that schools  All in all are the best.
The less that they teach
And the more that they test.

I decided those wages  You need to get by,
Are much better spent   On some CEO guy.

I decided your Wade
Which was versing your Roe,
Is terribly awful  And just has to go.

I decided that levees  Are not really needed.
Now when hurricanes come
They can come unimpeded.

I've decided gay marriage  Is icky and weird.
Above all other things,
It's the one to be feared.

And Cheney and Rummy And Condi all know
That I'm the Decider - They tell me it's so.

I'm the Decider   So watch what you say,
Or I may decide
To have you whisked away.

Or I'll tap your phones.  Your e-mail I'll read.
`cause I'm the Decider -  Like Jesus decreed.

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