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SUMMER OLYMPIC WRAP-UP
By Jack B. Tany
Review Sports Columnist
After two weeks of drama and drugs, the 2004 Summer Olympic Games
are finally over. These are the Top 10 Moments I took away from the
Summer Games, which were held in Athens, Greece:
10. The American contingent had no one to hate. The Big Red - Soviet
Union and East Germany - were ripped apart years ago. I guess there's always
France. The country that gave us Pepe LePew wound up with a whopping
33 medals.
9. During each Olympic Games, the International Olympic Committee
tries different sports to see if they work. Most, however, do not. Remember
Olympic bowling? I think you can also junk Synchronized Swimming (dancing in the
water), Synchronized Diving, Trampoline (something my niece Brooke does in the
backyard) and Badminton. While I'm at it, you can get rid of the Biathlon, which
is held during the Winter Games. The Biathlon, in case you don't know, has
cross-country skiers from each country stopping and shooting a rifle. Let's
leave the skiing/deer hunters at home. And let's make up your mind . . . either
you're going to have Indoor Volleyball or Beach Volleyball - not both. I'd scrap
the Beach Volleyballers. After the bathing suits, what else is there? What's
next, Frisbee? Team Frisbee? Ultimate Frisbee?
8. Officials from the USA had hoped for 100 total medals. The good, old
red, white and blue ended up with 103 (35-39-29), edging out Russia who
had 92. China was a distant third with 63.
7. Led by pitchers Jennie Finch and Lisa Fernandez, the United
States showed its dominance in softball by outscoring its opponents 51-1. Maybe
they should have played on the USA baseball team, which didn't even qualify for
the Games. Isn't that just peachy . . . we invent the game (of baseball) and we
can't even qualify a team for the Summer Olympics.
6. There were three local ties to the Games: Flint boxer Andre Dirrell
won a Bronze medal in boxing . . . former Saginaw Valley State University
basketball standout Gail Goestenkors earned a Gold medal as an assistant
coach on the women's basketball team . . . and Daryl Szarenski, a
graduate of Swan Valley High School, was the highest-finishing American in the
50-meter air pistol. He scored 554 points to tie with three others for 15th
place.
5. Michael Phelps, the American swimmer vying for eight Gold medals, was
on every magazine cover prior to the Olympic Games. He fell short in his bid to
break Mark Spitz' record of seven gold medals, but still ended up with an
impressive eight medals (six Gold and two Bronze).
4. Michael Phelps (again). In the classiest moment of the Games, Phelps
gave up his spot on the 400-meter relay team - and a sure medal - to teammate
(and rival) Ian Crocker. He wanted to make sure Crocker wound up with a
medal, which he did (Gold). Pure class.
3. The Dream Team overslept. The U.S. men's basketball team lost its
opening game to Puerto Rico by 19 points and added two more losses en route to a
Bronze medal. I really think it's time to bring back the college players. They
would be at a severe disadvantage because the foreign cagers begin playing
together nearly two years before the Games begin. But they would bring back that
passion that is lacking with the NBA 'stars'. It was pretty evident that the
overpaid roundballers, who stayed on a luxury liner instead of the Olympic
Village, couldn't shoot from long distance or play defense. Heck, they couldn't
even bring the correct color uniforms for their Bronze medal game with
Lithuania.
2. Paul Hamm survived a scoring squabble to win a Gold medal in the
gymnastics' all-around event. After Hamm was awarded his Gold medal, officials
found out via a scoring error from the judges that Yang Tae-young of
South Korea was the actual winner. The International Gymnastics Federation said
it wouldn't change the results, even after repeated attempts by the South
Koreans to get Hamm to return his medal. Three judges were suspended because of
the error. I liken the mistake to someone finding a malfunctioned clock at the
end of a close football game. What's done is done. You can't go back and replay
it. The only thing I couldn't figure out is why he pronounces his name 'Halm'
instead of 'Ham.' Soccer star Mia Hamm has the same spelling and her
name is pronounced 'Ham', as in Wilmer Jones Ham.
1. With three miles left in the marathon, Vanderlei de Lima of
Brazil was in the lead when a man wearing a kilt, green beret and matching
knee-high socks, shoved him into a curb filled with fans. De Lima regained his
composure and scrambled back into the race, but had to settle for a Bronze
medal. The man, identified as Cornelius Horan, a defrocked priest from
Ireland, was given a one-year suspended sentence and fined $3,600. He should
have been given one thousand 'Hail Mary's' and forced to wear his kilt while in
prison.
  
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