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A MUSICAL PRIMER: PART II


By Randy Chandler

Artwork by Randy Chandler



In the last issue, I took a crack at educating the younger members of our musical community about, for lack of better terminology, proper gig etiquette.
While I realize etiquette is something that people get into bands to have an excuse to avoid, there are nonetheless a number of do's and don'ts that I have found very helpful over the years. These are simply meant to make life slightly easier for you, your band mates, your sound guy, and even your audience.  Whether or not you take them to heart is entirely up to you.

MOVE TO THE MUSIC
 
First, some tips for those of you who have found, or will find themselves performing in bars and nightclubs. It used to be a big thing around here to go see a killer local band at the hottest club in town-some of our local clubs used to have very successful five and six night weeks.
People would be out partying until the next morning - on a Wednesday night! However, a number of factors have contributed to a steady decline in packed nightclubs of late -the economy, stiffer drunk driving laws, and the simple fact that most of the bands currently playing the local clubs, frankly, aren't as much fun to watch as they used to be.

This is not a slam. The current crops of local bands are more technically proficient and are better songwriters than we've seen before. But seeing a live band just isn't an event anymore.
When I first came here in 1991, Saginaw was a hotbed of decadent activity, owing largely to the bands in power at the time. True, we were in the last stages of cock-rock, just before Grunge came through and kicked its silly ass, but who of my generation can forget the stage presence of Banzai's Bugsy Chavez?

For you young kids who missed out, here's a capsule review of the Saginaw/Bay City/ Midland music scene circa 1991: Wet T-shirt Contests. Mug nights. Big light shows. Packed clubs-even big ones like the Rockin' Roundup (R.I.P.) and Stingrays(Captain's Cove/Hollywood Nights/Onstage to you young'uns). Bands that put on a SHOW. Much debauchery.
It was a truly great time to be alive - at least from what I can remember. The sad thing is, Grunge came along and made musicians who jumped around and leapt atop tables for guitar solos look stupid.
Suddenly, it was cool to stand in one place and stare at the floor. Don't get me wrong - the Seattle thing was a much-needed breath of fresh air at the time, and I still personally favor that musical period in my listening habits - but that was when bands got boring.
     
Not everyone has succumbed to this syndrome, of course. Oscar Gomez, Steve Axestorm, and myself still play pretty much the same as we did back then, and we're joined by new blood in the form of Silverspork's Bryan Gretzinger  (though I suspect Gretzinger does what he does because the music overtakes him and he's powerless to resist), but there are precious few who actually understand the concept of a SHOW.
This is something that seriously needs to be remedied.
        
Of course, if you are performing in nightclubs, you aren't actually paid to entertain - you are paid to sell drinks. The crappiest band in town can be the top draw if they can get enough people to come get hammered with them on a regular basis.
This is not to paint bar owner's in only one light - there are many of them that book bands because they truly love the music, Bo White being a prime example; but the reality of the economy dictates that if you want to be a successful bar band, you better at least be able to lure several of your alcoholic friends to your every gig.
       
This should not deter you from your real goals - getting booked/getting paid/ getting signed/ getting laid - whatever brought you to this life in the first place. Some people actually still go out to see live bands. They might just not be getting enough bang for their buck. And as that buck gets harder and harder to come by, don't be surprised if people are hesitant to spend it on your boring-ass band.

I'm not trying to make you into something you're not (leave that for the record companies!). You don't have to jump around like a monkey if you don't feel it. BUT FEEL SOMETHING! Let the music move you as it will, and never be afraid of looking like a dork. If you have a serious hang-up about this, practice in front of a mirror. It may sound cheesy, but it works.

BE KIND TO YOUR STAFF

Also, remember that the waitstaff are basically your fellow employees. The nicer you are to them and the easier you are to work with, the better your chances at a return engagement.
The phrase, "Tip your bartenders and waitresses" should become a permanent part of your vernacular. These people work hard, and if they don't get tipped, their night can be really crappy, and that might or might not reflect on you. But, hey, why take the chance?

Punctuality should also be a major concern. Yes, I know, I know-nobody seems to hit the stage on time anymore, and no one seems to care, but in some clubs it's crucial that you are on and off stage at certain times.
Cooperate with the wishes of the management, and your life will most likely be somewhat easier.
Well, I'm out of time again and it looks like this is turning into a series! In parting, a word to the average bar patron: If you think you are helping things by telling the sound guy, well, anything - you're not.

And this is not the best time to tell him anything anyway. Get another drink, hit the bathroom, whatever.  The band will be on eventually.

 

 

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