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PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

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by: Rachel Deahl
Review Film Critic

If the thought of a major studio turning a Disney ride into a big-budget
comedic action movie sounds like a terrible idea, "Pirates of the
Caribbean" proves that Hollywood has made more egregious trespasses.
Clocking in at a shockingly long two and a half hours, this campy "Evil
Dead" homage from director Gore Verbinski is nonetheless giddy fun.
The last major pirate movie to hit theaters was the 1995 turkey, "Cutthroat
Island." Seemingly ending the careers of director Renny Harlin and star
Geena Davis (who were married at the time of filming) in one swift take,
this bomb made a lasting statement that the silver screen is no place for
live action pirate films. Well, so it seemed. Taking a bad idea and turning
it into something good, Gore Verbinski brings his "Pirates" to the screen
with excellent casting and inspired wit.
Johnny Depp swaggers, or stumbles, onto the screen as Jack Sparrow, the
exiled captain of the infamous ship, the Black Pearl. With his drunken
English accent and lighthearted indifference, Depp turns in another one of
his signature bizarre-o roles. Like his eye-winking, mumbling, hectic
performance in "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," Depp makes a lasting
impression once again. Doing for Jack Sparrow what he did for Hunter S.
Thompson, Depp lights up the screen every time he flashes upon it.
The art of Walt Disney's Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl - 2003

Rated: PG-13
Image © Copyright Walt Disney Pictures/Jerry Bruckheimer Films

 
More forgettably, appearing as Depp's straight-laced sidekick, is Orland
Bloom, who stumbles through "Pirates" with all the charisma of a snail. But

looking pretty is more Bloom's job than anything else and to that end he
does his job. Thankfully, Geoffrey Rush is on hand to pick up Bloom's
slack. As the reigning evil captain of Depp's former ship, Rush is perfect
as the demonic Captain Barbossa.
More ghoulish horror movie than pirate tale, Verbinski has noticeable fun
with this plot about a motley crew of seamen condemned to spend eternity as
zombies after stealing a cursed treasure. When the evil (and undead) crew
of the Black Pearl steals the beautiful daughter of a British governor
stationed in the Caribbean (played by Jonathan Pryce), the skilled
swordsman and blacksmith who adores her (Bloom) unwillingly enlists the
help of a marooned pirate (Depp) to help him in a rescue mission. In the
process, fortunes change, identities are revealed and the complexities of
lifting said curse surface.
Lifting the camp look of Sam Raimi's beloved cult horror series, "The Evil
Dead," Verbinski models his undead sailors on the ghouls that inhabited
Raimi's trilogy. And, pairing a similar blend of black comedy with kitschy
gore, Verbinski does his source material proud. At one point in the film,
Pryce's priggish politician is hunted down by the severed skeletal arm of

the ghoul he's just beaten off; it's a moment which shows Verbinski's
unmistakable respect for and gratitude to the films he's clearly
celebrating.
Surprisingly, the most glaring problem with this enjoyable homage is its
hefty running time. How studio execs allowed this popcorn horror flick to
clock in at a length more befitting a heavy-handed Academy Award contender
is anyone's guess, but the result is grueling.
Although "Pirates" drags on considerably longer than it should, there is
nary a dull moment on screen. Who knew walking the plank and hunting buried
treasure could be this much fun?
Grade: B
 
TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES

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When James Cameron added the second installment to "The Terminator," he hit
upon the brilliant irony which made his man versus machine films so
wonderful -- Hollywood filmmaking, like the titular hard body in his films,
is all about coming back over and over again. And, making true to the catch
phrase that emerged from the films, Arnold did just that to save the world
and earn a huge box office haul. Sadly, returning for a third helping
without the guidance of Cameron behind the camera, the din of an empty cash
register is the only sound that "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines" leaves
humming in the theaters.
Filling the directorial vacancy left by Cameron, Jonathan Mostow steps up
to the chair. Unable to bring anything new to the story or add to the smart
cinematic repartee Cameron had established, Mostow fills "T3" with the
tired stuff of summer blockbusters.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is back in Warner Brothers' Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines - 2003

Rated: R
Photo © Copyright Warner Brothers

 
The chase between the machines - which sees Arnold in hot pursuit of an
upgraded enemy, now in the va-va-voom form of model Kristanna Loken - boils
down to lengthy car chases and endless explosions. Where Cameron slyly
played off the notion that the machines must rely on other machines to
catch the humans, Mostow doesn't show nearly as much flair or inventiveness
with the premise. Aside from the shot of a hearse that dons the logo
"Valley of Peace" after transporting the good guys through a rain of
bullets, Mostow doesn't do nearly enough winking at his endeavor.
The amusing freshness of "T2" is mostly recycled in this less superior
carbon copy. With most of the cast gone, save Schwarzenegger, John Connor
(now played by Nick Stahl) is living an anchorless existence. As Stahl
narrates the opening scenes of the film, he explains his life as an empty
one in which he constantly finds himself waiting for the apocalypse he
supposedly averted in the second film. Unwilling to commit his name to any
phone directory or permanent address, he "lives off the grid."
But, because of a glitch in the matrix as it were, the judgment day is
actually still on schedule. So that Connor paranoia ends up working in the
savior's favor when two terminators arrive on planet Earth, one with the
job of protecting him and the other programmed to search and destroy.
With its attractive, expressionless, liquid metal foe, "T3" is very much in
the vein of Cameron's sequel. And, for the most part, the best stuff to
come out of Mostow's film is the borrowed celluloid. As Loken turns her
head just so and smirks with the evil intent of a machine equipped with a
blowtorch and a great figure, the wonderful template that Cameron
established comes back to life. Sure it's the same set up when the naked
machines go in search of their wardrobe, but it's still slightly enjoyable
because it was so perfect the first time around.
Still, "T3" is full of hoaky references to judgment day and the revolution.
As John Connor, his future wife (played by a screaming Claire Danes) and
the Terminator head out into the desert to get gas and load their arsenal
of weapons, the sensation that this scene played out before is
overwhelming. Only now, Linda Hamilton's muscular presence is replaced by
the pale face of the awkward teen from "My So Called Life;" the switch is
just one of the many tell-tale signs that the time has come to let the
machines win the battle and ensure that Arnold really won't be back.
Grade: B-



  

 

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