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GHOST SHIP

By Rachel Deahl

Review Film Critic

Click for the Official Site

The thought of seeing a paranormal spook story set aboard a decaying ocean

liner, conveniently released to coincide with Halloween, seemed like a

prospect more nauseating than tearing through an entire bag of

trick-or-treats in one sitting.
Since it's no secret that Hollywood has an unfortunate penchant for

delivering seasonal fare which attempts to do little more than cash in on

its holiday "timeliness," "Ghost Story" appeared to fit the bill of a

Tinseltown Hallmark special delivery. So, with expectations seriously

lowered, the good news is that this modest ghost story isn't nearly as bad

as its external details indicate it should be.
Juliana Margulies stars as the brazen mother hen of a rowdy salvage crew

that earns cash searching open waters for sunken and/or abandoned vessels.

Along with the seasoned Irish seaman and captain of the ship (Gabriel

Byrne), Margulies heads up the group aboard the Arctic Warrior as they make

their unusual freelance living fixing and returning these lost ships to

their owners.
Who's paying and who's looking is anybody's guess but apparently there's

big money to be made in this particular ocean biz. And money is what lures

the crew to go in search of a mysterious vessel spotted somewhere in the

Bering Sea. Cued in to the discovery by a pilot who approaches them in a

bar, the Arctic Warrior heads out to sea with a stranger aboard, hoping to

score their biggest profit to date.
The Antonia Graza in Warner Brothers' Ghost Ship - 2002

Rated: R
Photo © Copyright Warner Brothers

 
The clues begin early that something is amiss with the old ship the Arctic

Warrior discovers when the technical equipment starts malfunctioning upon

contact. Realizing they've stumbled onto the mythic European cruise liner

called the Antonia Graza, Byrne clues his fellow sailors onto the history

of the vessel: namely that it went missing in the 1960s and simply

disappeared without word from any of the crew. Once the salvagers board the

dilapidated monstrosity, the poltergeists get feisty and start making their

presence known to the interlopers.
Aside from its jarring opening sequence which offers a snapshot of the

horrifying fate of those originally aboard the Antonia Graza - imagine "The

Love Boat" crossed with "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" - "Ghost Ship" is a

fairly rote ghoulish tale. The mystery of what actually happened on the

ship is momentarily compelling, but it isn't riveting enough to make the

"Ten Little Indians" scenario more enticing.
As the investigating Arctic Warrior crew dwindle in numbers, and literally

get knocked off one by one, the reason behind their murders becomes as

inconsequential as the method used to pull them off.
And, with films like this, when you stop caring how the sacrificial lambs

die, the ship is 'sunk'.
 
THE SANTA CLAUSE 2

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Although November 1 seems a bit early to get into the Christmas spirit,

even for the most ardent holiday fanatics, this sequel to Tim Allen's

successful Santa movie, The Santa Clause," is enough to set any scrooge

aglow with the X-mas bug.
Against my own better judgment, and taste, this syrupy, predictable Allen

vehicle proved an indulgent delight complete with a surprising dose of

laugh-out-loud humor.
Reprising his role as a regular Joe who becomes the famous jovial big man

in the red suit (in the first film Allen's character inadvertently becomes

Santa when he puts on the deceased Mr. Claus' uniform), Allen is again

faced with the burden of saving Christmas.
This time around he's struggling with the second clause of his contract --

the "Mrs. Clause." In order to maintain his gig bringing toys to all the

good little boys and girls of the world, Allen has to find a bride before

midnight on December 25. No easy task, especially when you need to explain

to your would-be bride about your unusual schedule, sporadic weight gain

and undesirable home base (the North Pole).
Fleeing his chilly workshop in search of love, Allen returns momentarily to

his former suburban existence and immediately falls for his teenage son's

beautiful, but uptight, principal.

Tim Allen as Santa Claus in Disney's The Santa Clause 2 - 2002

Rated: G
Photo © Copyright Walt Disney

 
Meanwhile, back at the Pole, the elves have fallen under the sway of an

ill-conceived Santa clone. Hoping to keep the peace while the "real" Santa

is working the singles scene, the top elves created a life-like duplicate

of Santa with devastating results -- the android Allen turns into a

militaristic dictator who puts the cheerful little people to work making

coal for all the naughty children.
Aside from the cliched storyline and the obligatory plot about saving

Christmas, "The Santa Claus 2" features a surprisingly enjoyable, if too

slight, love story between Allen and the principal (played by Elizabeth

Mitchell, who some will recognize from her recurring role on "ER" as Carrie

Weaver's first female love interest).
Additionally, the film delivers some wonderfully conceived gags. With a

delightful subplot in which Allen convenes, and is helped by, a council of

supposedly imaginary childhood figures (Father Time, Cupid and Mother

Nature are among the members), the Tooth Fairy figures inventively in the

struggle to set things right in the North Pole.
One of the most rewarding episodes is centered on Allen's first date with

Mitchell. Dragged to a horrifically boring high school faculty party (the

sight of the dreary teachers, clad in ill-conceived holiday-theme sweaters,

clumped around the punch bowl is hilarious in and of itself), Allen's Santa

in disguise turns a dreadful night in the high school gymnasium into an

unexpected gift-giving bonanza. As funny as it is sweet, the scene reveals

how easy it can be to make even embittered grown-ups excited about

Christmas.
And, in the end, it's what "The Santa Clause 2" delivers for the parents

which makes it such a treat.
While the little ones can laugh at the stupid reindeer fart jokes and the

images of Santa's little helpers, unexpected scenes like Molly Shannon's

cameo as Allen's unbalanced blind date make this an unexpected pleasure.




 

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