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GHOST SHIP By Rachel Deahl Review Film Critic Click for the Official Site The thought of seeing a paranormal spook story set aboard a decaying ocean liner, conveniently released to coincide with Halloween, seemed like a prospect more nauseating than tearing through an entire bag of trick-or-treats in one sitting. Since it's no secret that Hollywood has an unfortunate penchant for delivering seasonal fare which attempts to do little more than cash in on its holiday "timeliness," "Ghost Story" appeared to fit the bill of a Tinseltown Hallmark special delivery. So, with expectations seriously lowered, the good news is that this modest ghost story isn't nearly as bad as its external details indicate it should be. Juliana Margulies stars as the brazen mother hen of a rowdy salvage crew that earns cash searching open waters for sunken and/or abandoned vessels. Along with the seasoned Irish seaman and captain of the ship (Gabriel Byrne), Margulies heads up the group aboard the Arctic Warrior as they make their unusual freelance living fixing and returning these lost ships to their owners. Who's paying and who's looking is anybody's guess but apparently there's big money to be made in this particular ocean biz. And money is what lures the crew to go in search of a mysterious vessel spotted somewhere in the Bering Sea. Cued in to the discovery by a pilot who approaches them in a bar, the Arctic Warrior heads out to sea with a stranger aboard, hoping to score their biggest profit to date.
The clues begin early that something is amiss with the old ship the Arctic Warrior discovers when the technical equipment starts malfunctioning upon contact. Realizing they've stumbled onto the mythic European cruise liner called the Antonia Graza, Byrne clues his fellow sailors onto the history of the vessel: namely that it went missing in the 1960s and simply disappeared without word from any of the crew. Once the salvagers board the dilapidated monstrosity, the poltergeists get feisty and start making their presence known to the interlopers. Aside from its jarring opening sequence which offers a snapshot of the horrifying fate of those originally aboard the Antonia Graza - imagine "The Love Boat" crossed with "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" - "Ghost Ship" is a fairly rote ghoulish tale. The mystery of what actually happened on the ship is momentarily compelling, but it isn't riveting enough to make the "Ten Little Indians" scenario more enticing. As the investigating Arctic Warrior crew dwindle in numbers, and literally get knocked off one by one, the reason behind their murders becomes as inconsequential as the method used to pull them off. And, with films like this, when you stop caring how the sacrificial lambs die, the ship is 'sunk'. THE SANTA CLAUSE 2 Click for the Official Site Although November 1 seems a bit early to get into the Christmas spirit, even for the most ardent holiday fanatics, this sequel to Tim Allen's successful Santa movie, The Santa Clause," is enough to set any scrooge aglow with the X-mas bug. Against my own better judgment, and taste, this syrupy, predictable Allen vehicle proved an indulgent delight complete with a surprising dose of laugh-out-loud humor. Reprising his role as a regular Joe who becomes the famous jovial big man in the red suit (in the first film Allen's character inadvertently becomes Santa when he puts on the deceased Mr. Claus' uniform), Allen is again faced with the burden of saving Christmas. This time around he's struggling with the second clause of his contract -- the "Mrs. Clause." In order to maintain his gig bringing toys to all the good little boys and girls of the world, Allen has to find a bride before midnight on December 25. No easy task, especially when you need to explain to your would-be bride about your unusual schedule, sporadic weight gain and undesirable home base (the North Pole). Fleeing his chilly workshop in search of love, Allen returns momentarily to his former suburban existence and immediately falls for his teenage son's beautiful, but uptight, principal.
Meanwhile, back at the Pole, the elves have fallen under the sway of an ill-conceived Santa clone. Hoping to keep the peace while the "real" Santa is working the singles scene, the top elves created a life-like duplicate of Santa with devastating results -- the android Allen turns into a militaristic dictator who puts the cheerful little people to work making coal for all the naughty children. Aside from the cliched storyline and the obligatory plot about saving Christmas, "The Santa Claus 2" features a surprisingly enjoyable, if too slight, love story between Allen and the principal (played by Elizabeth Mitchell, who some will recognize from her recurring role on "ER" as Carrie Weaver's first female love interest). Additionally, the film delivers some wonderfully conceived gags. With a delightful subplot in which Allen convenes, and is helped by, a council of supposedly imaginary childhood figures (Father Time, Cupid and Mother Nature are among the members), the Tooth Fairy figures inventively in the struggle to set things right in the North Pole. One of the most rewarding episodes is centered on Allen's first date with Mitchell. Dragged to a horrifically boring high school faculty party (the sight of the dreary teachers, clad in ill-conceived holiday-theme sweaters, clumped around the punch bowl is hilarious in and of itself), Allen's Santa in disguise turns a dreadful night in the high school gymnasium into an unexpected gift-giving bonanza. As funny as it is sweet, the scene reveals how easy it can be to make even embittered grown-ups excited about Christmas. And, in the end, it's what "The Santa Clause 2" delivers for the parents which makes it such a treat. While the little ones can laugh at the stupid reindeer fart jokes and the images of Santa's little helpers, unexpected scenes like Molly Shannon's cameo as Allen's unbalanced blind date make this an unexpected pleasure.
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