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Letters to the Editor Kennebunkport Hillbilly Editor's Note: We received this wonderful little ditty through an on-line reader that forwarded this via e-mail. Like any timeless song, it pretty much 'says it all'. Sing this to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies theme song. Come and listen to my story 'bout a boy named Bush. His IQ was zero and his head was up his tush. He drank like a fish while he drove all about. But that didn't matter 'cuz his daddy bailed him out. DUI, that is. Criminal record. Cover-up. Well, the first thing you know little Georgie goes to Yale. He can't spell his name but they never let him fail. He spends all his time hangin' out with student folk. And that's when he learns how to snort a line of coke. Blow, that is. White gold. Nose candy. The next thing you know there's a war in Vietnam. Kin folks say, "George, stay at home with Mom." Let the common people get maimed and scarred. We'll buy you a spot in the Texas Air Guard. Cushy, that is. Country clubs. Nose candy. Twenty years later George gets a little bored. He trades in the booze, says that Jesus is his Lord. He says, "Now the White House is the place I wanna be." So he calls his daddy's friends and they call the GOP. Gun owners, that is. Falwell. Jesse Helms. Come November 7, the election ran late. Kin folks say "Jeb, give the boy your state!" "Don't let those colored folks get into the polls." So they put up barricades so they couldn't punch their holes. Chads, that is. Duval County. Miami-Dade. Before the votes were counted five Supremes stepped in. Told all the voters "Hey, we want George to win." "Stop counting votes!" was their solemn invocation. And that's how George finally got his coronation. Rigged, that is. Illegitimate. No moral authority. Y'all come vote now. Ya hear? Paid for by the Katherine Harris Foundation for Corrective Plastic Surgery. Memo to President Shrub: Trouble Ahead, Trouble Behind Hail to the Thief If You Think We'll Forget You're Out of Your Mind Ashcroft's Mindset Dear Review: Is this the person we want as Chief Law Enforcer of the United States ? This information comes from the book "Drug Warriors and Their Prey: From Police Power to Police State." Exhibit A in this book is Missouri -- Ashcroft's home state and legislation he proposed. In the index: Ashcroft, John. 81-82, 84-85, 145. It reads: "Under that legislation, if a teen were caught with a marijuana cigarette in a shopping mall, the teen's entire family would be evicted from public housing." Ashcroft also demanded that driver's licenses be revoked if a person was simply arrested on suspicion of using marijuana. He said no trial should be necessary; accusation by a police officer should be sufficient grounds for punishment. Ashcroft in 1992 would have converted a third misdemeanor marijuana possession offense into a felony. All this at a time when our country is supposed to start moving towards a sane drug policy? Sincerely, Curtis List Bridgeport The Review welcomes your letters & comments. Please address all correspondence to: Letters to the Editor o Review Magazine 318 S. Hamilton St. Saginaw, MI 48602
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